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Thanks for stopping by and checking in with me! :) You'll notice the lack of updates and blog posts - it's because this is no longer the "home" of Elisabeth Nixon Photography! Head on over to www.elisabethnixonphotography.com for updates, new posts and yes - a brand new website!

Friday, February 27, 2009

2 Years Gone By

Two years have gone by since I gave any thought to photographing for more than just my own memories. Two years ago I didn't really have a CLUE. :) I could see in my head what I wanted - but couldn't really make it happen in the camera. SO frustrating. I bought a bunch of books, spent countless hours online reading and researching, even MORE hours behind the camera practicing and practicing . . . and I am pleased to say that I have learned SOMETHING! :)

If nothign else, I've learned to have fun. To not be so very structured and only work withing the proverbial "box". To take chances - to try things that are new - to go ahead and step out, maybe even fail. :) SO many pictures fail . . . but with each one that doesn't work out the way it was in my head, I am able to learn something at least!

Here's Micah and Ella - almost exactly 2 years ago. They're stinking cute and I didn't really have a clue what I was doing. :) I was still shooting in the auto/program mode, trying to figure out what on EARTH the corrolation was between shutter speed, aperature, ISO - it was all so foreign to me. And yet I knew what I WANTED this picture to look like. Of course, it doesn't look ANYTHING like what was in my head - but it's a good example of at least giving it a try. :)

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About 8 months after that was taken I felt like my pictures were becoming far more consistant, and I'd learned enough to do a few people's pictures here and there - but looking back even those are a little embarassing. :) I guess I thought I knew a LITTLE what I was doing - but I look at them now and can see so many failures - but without each of those, I wouldn't have learned how to do it differently. How to do it better, right?

Here's "today" - as in February 2009. This pictures isn't perfect by ANY means. But it speaks my language. :) It's so much closer to what is in my head - and it happened so fast, without much conscious thought on my behalf. My fingers know what to do, what dials to turn - I don't have to think long and hard about where settings should be - it's just "in there" - in my head, I mean. :)

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To be honest, these pictures make me a little excited. :) Excited to see where I've come from. And REALLY excited to see where I might be in the next 2 years - or even 5. I have so many ideas and "dreams" - things I want to do with this. A lot of them might never happen, and that's totally OK with me - it's my dream, I can dream whatever I want, right? :) But several of them I fully intend to do my best to see them through to completion. I am not the best photographer - by ANY means. I'm not even all that fantastic. But I've gotten better - and I know that with a lot more practice and hard work, I'll learn even more.

There is ONE very important part of the equation I've left out though - kinda purposefully. Mostly because it's THE part of the equation that, without its inclusion, I would have failed miserably. I believe that to be God. I don't think it's by chance that I have a love for photography - nor by chance that I have some talent in this area. Not for a minute do I think that I got "here" all on my own either. I can't tell you HOW many of those "countless hours" I spent reading and practicing that I would sit frustrated, crying out to God saying "Does it have to be so hard? I want to do this, WANT to understand - I need help!" Sometimes I was so bummed about any lack of progress at ALL that I wouldn't even pick up the camera for several days, weeks - whatever. Eventually I'd realize that I can't possibly learn or grow if I don't even try - and that my trying (and subsequent failing) would have NO impact whatsoever on what God thought of me. :)

Kinda crazy - how taking out the "what do others think of me??" and replacing it with "What does GOD think about me" - how that simple switch can change your perspective. :) Who cares what others think about me and my photography. (OK so I DO care - but this is just some serious ramblings ok?) But really - I do not have to please every person. Shoot - I don't REALLY have to please anybody. :) I really only fail if I do NOT try, and if I don't do my best. The attitude in my heart, the words I say, my actions, the talents that I have which HE has given to me (and to each of us!) - THOSE I can use to either bring Glory to His Name, and please Him - or not.

It's embarassing to fail - almost nobody will "see" it though, because WHY would I show THOSE pictures? :) But then I can look at those pictures and say - "Thank you Lord" - He's brought me a long way, I've learned a lot - would NEVER have had ANY success what-so-ever with actually running a business - and each of those small failures will add up to the opportunity to learn and understand more. And then to try again - maybe that time I'll get it right. :)

3 comments:

Markus and Sarah said...

Look at those sweet little pumpkins 2 years ago... The thing is that I thought you were amazing back then, but as you've grown and improved, my idea of good photography has also changed. I'm proud of how far you've come and always look forward to your blog posts to see your new pictures. Love you!

Kate said...

Just LOVE hearing your heart, dearie....thanks for sharing TRUTH with us today! LOVE YOU!!! How's the baby??!! :D

Sarah Wheeler said...

What a lovely post Elisabeth, thanks for sharing :)